【慈幼通訊社
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2017
年
6月
27
日羅馬慈幼總部訊】
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「一份終身的愛，不斷在每天重新開展。」這就是愛的本質，A.M.
Carré神父把這本質綜合成一個最高準則，就是在他主持的每個婚禮中，向新婚夫婦所覆述的：「夫婦如要白首偕老，要不斷鞏固彼此間的愛」。你們如何與自己的伴侶相守終生？就是透過每天儀式中的愛：親吻、問候、擁抱，以及其他千萬種儀式，但絕不會成為純粹的例行公事。總會長在2017贈言中邀請我們，透過活出「一份忠信、持久、向生命開放的愛情」，在每天的儀式中建立家庭。
大家圍着桌子一起吃飯，是一份家庭儀式，就如一對夫婦度過浪漫的周末一般。
儀式有助維繫人們的關係，有時也會令家庭更為穩固。今日世界充滿狂野的步伐，在不穩定的氛圍中，家庭關係面臨弱化的威脅。因此若家庭要維持團結，每個成員要認真盡力維護使家庭穩固的儀式及傳統。這有助營造一份身份的認同，以及家庭成員之間的共融，使他們在家庭中找到安穩，得以維繫穩定的情感。
儀式是不斷重覆的，是可預見的，彷彿是例行公事。每人都知道會發生什麼事，以及自己的責任。
然而，兩者之間有著重要的分別：儀式比純粹的例行公事，對一個家庭有著更強烈的象徵意義。
每天早上的打扮是例行公事。在出門前向伴侶或小孩親吻，卻是儀式。因為，親吻與日常打扮不同，本身有著重要的價值。例如，這可以表示我愛你……我會掛念你。
星期日的晚餐，一天的結束時一起舒展身心，一同吃雪糕、喝咖啡等，都是家庭的儀式，每個家庭都會發展自家的一套。
當孩子還是很小的時候，家庭為慶祝他們的成長發展一些儀式：給他們餵食、幫助他們洗澡，又或是抱他們上床睡覺。每當進行這些事時，父母子女之間的關係變得緊密起來。
家庭儀式是父母子女都有份兒的空間，是能與相愛者真正交流的時刻，也是每天鞏固情感關係的獨特方法。
最後，家庭儀式以所用的行為展現共融的寶貴時刻，能確保一份安全感，有助我們找到恬靜與和諧。家庭儀式讓我們自覺為家庭的一份子，賦予正確的溝通渠道，維繫每人之間活潑的關係。
家庭儀式的力量正是這樣：即使在不穩定的情況下，仍能創造溝通的機會；自然地，當情況回復和諧後，這份關係得以維持下去。
Building a family, in the rituals of every day
(ANS - Rome –RMG, 27 June 2017) – "A life-long love begins again every day." Here is the essence of love, the essence that Fr A.M. Carré condensed into a single maxim that he would always repeat to couples during their wedding cerimony: "spouses forever, remaining engaged." And how do you manage to stay loyal to your spouse a whole lifetime? Through love in the rituals of every day: by a kiss, a greeting, a hug and a thousand gestures that are rituals and that should never become routine. The Rector Major in the Strenna for 2017 invites building a family through the rituals of every day, by living "a love that is faithful, everlasting and open to life."
Eating together around the same table is a family ritual, just as a romantic weekend is for the couple.
Rituals contribute to reinforce the bonds that unite people and sometimes to create others that are more stable within the family. Family bonds risk being weakened by the frenetic pace of today’s world where nothing seems stable and certain. Thus families can safeguard their union only if all the members really have the intention of making the effort to keep the rituals and traditions of consolidation. These contribute to creating a sense of identity and bonds among the members who find in the family nucleus security and a guarantee of stable affection.
Like routine actions, rituals are repeated to the extent that they become foreseeable. Each one knows what to expect and what their responsibilities are.
However, there is an important difference: rituals in comparison to routines have a very strong symbolic meaning for the family.
Dressing in the morning is a routine. Greeting your partner or child with a kiss before leaving the house is a ritual. This is because, contrary to the routine of getting dressed, the kiss encloses in itself an important value. For example, it can mean I love you…I will miss you.
Sunday dinner, relaxing together at the end of the day, having an ice cream or a cup of coffee are all examples of rituals and every family develops its own over time.
When the children are small, rituals are celebrated for their growth: feeding them, bathing them, or putting them to bed. Every time one of these actions is done together, the ties are consolidated between parents and children.
A ritual is any space the parents and children can access, sure of finding the occasion for a meaningful exchange with the person loved, a special way of reinforcing emotional bonds every day.
In conclusion, rituals represent precious times of communion around rites, able to guarantee that sense of security and protection we all need in order to find serenity and balance. They make us feel part of our family and offer us the right space to communicate and keep alive bonds with each other.
The power of rituals is precisely this: creating occasions for encounter even in times of contrast and, naturally, reinforcing the bonds when harmony returns.